


Best Weapons in the World

by Paper0wl



Series: Rod and Shield [22]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural
Genre: Benevolent Plots, Gen, Secrets, Tricksters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 11:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6655882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paper0wl/pseuds/Paper0wl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because Gabriel is willing to admit he's an archangel doesn't mean he's going to stop being a trickster. Just because he likes being an uncle doesn't mean he's ever going to work in straight lines.</p>
<p>Gabriel doesn't know what the Scribe's deal is, but he's certainly not above misdirection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Weapons in the World

He wasn't  _really_  a trickster. But he had pretended to be one long enough that the mannerisms stuck.

 And really, having people who knew what he was and trusting him anyway (despite them all living in fear of his sense of humor come the first of April) was a great trick. Almost as good a trick as watching his brothers flail as his niece just kinda stood in the way of their "ineffable plan." After so long thinking as they did that it was inevitable, watching Kyria stop it just by being herself was almost as good as chocolate.

 Oh, and the other thing about Kyria's little collection of humans trusting him? When he told them, "Oh, must be a glitch," they believed him and thought nothing more of it.

 But really. A persistent ping on the angel detector in Colorado?

 C’mon.

 Totally not a glitch.

 After all the time and effort he'd expended making sure Heaven couldn't find him, the Tech Twins’ angel detecting software could. It was an astounding work of art and he'd been the test subject that helped get it coded.

 Of course he didn't share  _all_ his tricks and could stay off the ninja radar too when he really felt like it.

 And it was child's play to stay off his brothers' radar when investigating which one of them was the ping.

 Considering his niece was more of a trouble magnet these days than the Winchesters (seriously, she'd stolen a contract that turned into the first non-demonic witch and then maintained a stable time loop on her first flight), Gabriel couldn't say he was all that surprised to find the Scribe buried under a mountain of books.

 Books, huh?

***

 "Why are we bringing a box to an Indian shrine in the middle of nowhere?" Roy asked, adjusting his grip on a box that looked like scribbled stone slab but still felt like fancy cardboard. Why Stark had something that came in a box that looked a chiseled hunk of rock he had no idea.

 "For the last time, because Ash said to!" Walt exclaimed, turning back to glare at his partner and tripping over a tree root as a result.

 "A shrine though?"

 "Some sort of pagan story god. I stopped listening after that."

 "But we're like ambassadors to a new ninja, right? That's pretty cool."

 "Hmph. It's a milk run. Makes up for those fucking crazy Christmas shoppers I guess."

 "We helped stop one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse!"

 "And you still flinch every time we go past a mall."

 "Yeah? Well . . . so do you!"

 "What's the map say?” Walt demanded, changing the subject. “Are we there yet?"

 "Uh, we passed it?"

 "Oh, for . . . ! It's upside down."

 "No it's not!"

 "Yes it is."

 "No it isn't."

 "It is."

 "No it's – right there?"

 "What? Huh. Kinda looks like an itty-bitty library growing outta a tree."

 "Yeah, kinda. That's weird. So what? We just stick the box there and say the thing and leave?"

 "That's what he said to do. You wanna say it?"

 "Uh, okay. Um." Roy cleared his throat. "Oh great Indian storyteller god –"

 "Really?"

 "You said you stopped paying attention."

 "Oh for – fine. Whatever."

 "Oh great Indian storyteller god, we are ninjas –"

 "No, we're Legion. They changed the name, remember?"

 "No, we're still ninjas. That's the 'n' part of Legion."

 "I guess."

 Roy cleared his throat again. "We are the ninjas of Legion and, uh." He pushed his sleeve up.

 "You wrote notes on your arm?" Walt asked incredulously.

 "It was a long speech. How else was I supposed to remember what he told us to say?"

 "Good point."

 "I had a paper copy,” he admitted sheepishly, “but uh, we did laundry on Tuesday."

 "You didn't check your pockets?"

 "I missed that one."

 "Of course you did," Walt said with an aggrieved sigh.

 Roy coughed. "We are a con – congo – uh, conglump – ah, conglomer _ation_  of former hunters and the things we used to hunt and come to, uh, shit the ink smudged . . . beg a favor?"

 "Say hi?"

 "That works too."

 "This is taking too long."

 "You wanna do it?"

 "Why not?" Walt grabbed the disguised box with the overpriced Stark shit inside and waved it around. "This is a gift from Legion. It holds a lot of stories. You don't have to join. Just know that if you attack us, we will gank you hard. Got it? Good." He stuck the box on the shrine and walked away.

 "Hey!" Roy called, running after him. "There was more we were supposed to say!"

 "I got to the point, didn't I? We got lost in the woods and talked to a little library-looking shrine-thing. Good enough."

 Roy thought about it. "I won't tell if you won't."

 "Agreed."

 ***

  _Foreword to the Ninja Omnibus Edition of Supernatural:_

  _Once upon a time two brothers were born to end the world. Except, not really. More like, they were born and a whole bunch of people tried to use them to end the world. We haven't let that happen. Hopefully it still hasn't ended at the time of this reading. The fact that these books are shifting from the Winchester Gospels to the Morningstar Scriptures hopefully indicates the world will keep not ending._

  _But I'm getting ahead of myself._

_This is the Ninja Omnibus Edition of the Supernatural series._   _This special edition is stored on the primary ninja drive (that special corner of the internet hosting the ninja boards) and is inaccessible to unauthorized viewers. Contained within the Ninja Omnibus is the Supernatural Chronicles._   _Part One of The Road So Far is the standard base for both the Chronicles and Mass Market sequences. The Chronicles are only available through the ninja drive._   _So if you want to educate someone on what's out there by means of our books, either get the Mass Market Edition or put in a request. I'm told requests are processed quickly._

  _That being said, in case you didn't already know, Part One of The Road So Far and the entirety of the Chronicles are real events that happened to real people and if you didn't know that what the hell are you doing reading this in the first place?_

  _Of course because the people chronicled in these books are real, we embarrassed more than a few people with the writing of these books. Most specifically the Winchester brothers, which, sorry, carrying the weight of destiny sucks, but also a number of other people whose lives intersect. (You should really pick your friends better if you have a problem with that.)_

  _I am the third writer allowed to touch these works, the first being the prophet originally tasked with their recordation. It was uncontestably one of the best moments in my life when I was granted permission. That said, Eleanor and I only work with the Mass Market Edition, available in your average bookstore. The Chronicles are Chuck's continuing efforts in recording the events of our times, although again we have noticed a gradual but distinct shift of focus over time from the Winchesters to Kyria. Our working hypothesis is that the Winchesters are part of the more domesticated hunter lifestyle whereas Kyria of the Many Names puts herself out there (for better or for worse) more and more and is becoming the lynchpin of, well, just about everything._

  _We do hope that shift means the Apocalypse won't be happening anytime soon._

  _In the meantime, happy reading!_

  _~ Becky Rosen_

 ***

>   _Intrigued by the clumsy visitors who knew to bring stories as tribute, Metatron looked at the box they left. He was disconcerted by its resemblance to the tablets he had inscribed with the Word of God, a resemblance furthered by the Enochian lettering. The spelling and grammar left much to be desired, a deliberate effort to not alert the Scribe that one of his brothers had penned the message, but the general gist of the writing announced the box as a keeper of stories. As the box contained the latest StarkTab adapted to the usage of those other than wholly human, this was an accurate description._
> 
> _Though Metatron knew it not, the tablet and its contents were a gift from his brother the Messenger._

 "I wouldn't call it a  _gift_ ," Gabriel remarked, reading over Chuck's shoulder. "More of an FYI, don't make trouble sort of study guide.” He crunched noisily on his chocolate-dipped waffle cone with rainbow sprinkles. “Admittedly I don't remember Metatron all that well, but according to the kids, he's been out of contact almost as long as me, which . . . is a pretty damn long time come to think of it. And I dropped in with Kyria every once in a blue moon or two. He's just been living under a rock. Or a book, I guess. And, hey, if this doesn't work, I can always stick him in my idiot box. What I just don't understand is why I'm the one getting stuck as rogue angel trainer?" 

 "You're the Messenger," Chuck replied simply before twitching and turning back to his computer.


End file.
